It’s Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) if you didn’t know, and to me that’s very important. At the start of the week I was like okay, I’m going to make this week count and try to fight all the bad things inside of my mind – unfortunately, like the fight against mental illnesses it hasn’t gone to plan. So here I am, just wanting to speak about mental illnesses because if you’ve read my blog you’ll know I’m open about it, if you know me in the real world and offline you’ll know that I’m happy to speak about it because to me within the recovery of mental illnesses there is nothing more important than TALKING.
You know, my journey through all of my troubles started so many years ago that I cannot even pin point the exact moment, strange. But here I am, just 1 and a half months from being 20 years old and I’m still deep within the fight.
Things have got better, I can’t deny that! Since starting on AD’s in December I’ve come such a long way and I couldn’t be more proud of myself in that sense. I never thought I’d see a day where I wouldn’t feel sad at least once and it’s been quite amazing to go through days and weeks without being as sad as I once was, not being /as/ filled with general anxiety to every day life and seeing life in a very new and different way. I am amazed at how well I’ve reacted to being on medication after being so sceptical towards it all in recent years, I should have definitely pushed for it years ago.
Despite all of my progress in some cases on my mental illnesses, I’m still struggling a lot with one part and that is my body/food. It’s honestly one of the most mentally draining things I’ve been through with all of this and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. However, I have started the process to get better! Which I’m excited about (but also extremely scared about, because this life and mind is all I’ve known).
I don’t know what it’s like to enjoy food anymore, I don’t know what if feels like to appreciate my body so when my process starts to getting better it’s going to be strange but no doubt worth it! I can’t wait to buy food because I want to enjoy it instead of buying food because I feel like it’s the right thing to do.
I wanted to share all of this because it’s so, SO, important to speak about it. Please, if you’re reading this and you feel like you need to speak to someone about some problems you feel like you’re having then do it. Do not hesitate, just speak to anyone – your parents, siblings, any family members, friends, online friends, a teacher, a work friend…ANYONE. It may not feel like it but there will always be someone there to talk.
It is so important to get the help even if it is a struggle to admit it. I know that it was a big thing for me to admit that I wanted and needed help but here I am, deep in my recovery and it’s a lot better than spending my days in the dark like I once was.
I LOVE YA, KEEP SMILING x x x