• Where am I at?

    Hey everyone, It’s been a tough morning, I have to say. I’m going away this weekend and this always fills me with crippling anxiety – I don’t know why. I think I’ve been building up to a bit of a breakdown all week and it happened this morning and I feel so guilty. I feel guilty that I let it get the better of me and I let it control whether or not I was going to go to work (I didn’t) – I try to be positive on here, radiate positivity and pretend I’m doing just fine. I only ever come back on here when something really gets to…

  • Physical VS. Mental

    Hiiiiii, So something that has really been bothering me recently is the difference in how mental illnesses are treated in comparison with physical. I personally, feel like I’m just being silly and weak if I need time for myself because everything is getting too much but my Eating Practitioner said to me “would you feel the same if you had a broken leg?” – of course not, I’d be laying on that sofa watching crap day time telly with no guilt whatsoever. I’ve had a few moments recently where I physically cannot face the world, I can only face a few and that’s my family, Ryan and my best friend…

  • Continuing the fight.

    Hi hi hi, I haven’t posted since October, oh me. It’s been a mare of a few months, here’s a short summary – I’m employed (do I enjoy it? I shall not disclose that on the internet) ((take from that what you will)), I’m still with that Ryry Evz and we’re saving to move out, joint bank account and all! But more importantly, I’m still suffering with that eating disorder and depression that is being a cheeky mother fucker and just does not want to budge out of my life. Let’s get into it, the last time I posted I was just starting my time at the eating disorder clinic…

  • Taking control.

    Today I said something out loud that I’ve never really spent the time thinking too much about. On my way home from an appointment with my eating disorder practitioner, after realising that I really AM fully on the road to recovery I realised that I am afraid to be okay. I said to my mum and my brother “I’m scared to not have anything anymore” – it sounds RIDICULOUS. But it was followed by a tonne of tears and a crying headache. It’s the truth though, I feel like I am afraid of being okay because like I also said to them, I don’t know who or what I am…

  • Recovery.

    Hi guys, gonna get serious on this mother. I will always say mental illness is one of the most important talking points, to keep it alive and don’t let it slide under the carpet because it’s important that people get better. About a month ago I started to process of finally getting better, I’m still having to fight certain aspects of it like the food etc, but all in all I’m just simply getting better. I’m finally starting to feel okay in every day life, it feels weird and new because really I’m not used to feeling okay. I spent so much time being sad that I forgot what it…

  • Educate Young Minds On Mental Illness.

    Hiiiii! Something really personal to me, and close to me are mental illnesses. Growing up with them and still living with many is common knowledge to those close to me, maybe even anyone who reads this blog because I believe speaking about it is THE most important thing. Last night I was having a bad one, it was almost 11pm and there I was on the brink of having yet another meltdown. Debating whether to wake my mum and have a cry, or just work through it. Then I got pissed off. I took myself back to primary school, I had no idea what anxiety was, no idea what body…