Dating

The Tinder Ghost

Hello everyone, old and new…

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote on what has always been my beloved blog. The last time I was here was October last year, I’d just moved into my new flat and I was ready for a totally fresh start. However, in that time I’d lost any creative energy I’d ever had and my blog took the biggest back seat it had ever taken, it was at the back of a very long bus. The bus being my life.

In the last year I’ve just been trying to figure out life as a 24/25 year old woman. What do I need to do in life to feel like I have some sort of purpose? Moving into a new home where my independence was absolutely all mine, I made the rules for myself and I could do whatever I wanted. It’s just not as plain sailing as maybe you’d think or maybe I had hoped. I hadn’t been ‘on my own’ properly for 4 years, being in and out of relationships I did not who I was by myself. I of course live with my best friend, although I’d say he’s my biggest partner in life (we are joined at the hip) I still had to figure out life on my own, you know?

I had to find out who Shannon was as a single, now young woman, in a town I was about to become even more familiar with. Living in the same place all your life is fun, but as an adult your world of course opens up to totally new things. I’d find myself – and still do – in the pub on a Tuesday night, it wasn’t just a weekend treat anymore. I mean, it’s a sick life I can’t lie.

So being single in 2020, what’s that like I hear you all ask? Yes you, the ones with babies, husbands or wives, long term partners or with a committed fuck buddy. It is fucking hard. To put it so bluntly, I never knew how hard it was going to be. When I became single I thought right, fuck I’ve got to go and…date?! I’d been on 2 dates with my previous boyfriend and by the 3rd we were pretty much together, so I really had not experienced Tinder or Hinge or whatever at it’s finest. So there I was, single, and I didn’t properly start going on dates until the July which was 3 months or so after, and well it just chucked me right into the shit show that is millennial dating.

Here’s how it goes: You meet someone, go on a lovely, wonderful first date and then never hear from them again. Quite simply, they are a ghost hence the term ‘Ghosting’. Let me give you an official definition from our trusty Urban Dictionary:

‘When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You’ll mostly see them avoiding friends’ phone calls, social media and avoiding them in public’

Fuckers.

I cannot lie, we’ve ALL done it to some extent but some people are serial ghosts, so much so maybe they are just dead? Or maybe just dead inside to their feelings and the feelings of others.

It is brutal, imagine dating someone new and opening up to them. Telling them everything from your deepest anxieties, family history and all the things you love to the time you, a non smoker, smoked a cigarette out of your bedroom window because you were horrifically constipated. But then the next minute they are gone and you have to repeat the process again and again. It is never ending.

Does it get easier? I don’t know! I always had high hopes for Tinder and what not, I met my ex on there and had an almost perfect 2 year relationship from it, so it does work…for 2 years at least. Ever since though my life has been full of an array of dick pics, ghosting, drunken nights and drunken texts, kicking people out at 3am and calling people the wrong name at the wrong time. Although it all makes for fun stories, when does the break come?! When will I stop having multiple boys names in my phone where their last names are ‘Tinder’? They must be a really big family.

I could talk about this forever and a day, I feel like I’ve had my fair share of experiences on the matter that I could write a whole book. I know I am not alone in the struggle of millennial dating, it’s even harder in this 2020 COVID world where we maybe want to get closer to someone but is that even okay…do we push the boundaries for our own sanity or do we keep ourselves to ourselves. We all crave the touch and affection from other humans, it’s natural but it’s tough to go from one to the other and they all end up being just another experience. Mostly…bad. Really, let’s just all give up the ghosting thing yes? Let’s just all be upfront and honest, maybe it’ll make the whole thing a little easier.

What are your experiences with online dating right now? Please do let me know, let’s chat about it.

I’ll be doing many more posts on dating, I could talk about it all day. It blows my mind how crazy it can be!

For now I’ll be on Instagram on @alifewithambitions – let’s chat, ease me back into this blogging world.

Take care x

2 Comments

  • laurenhollie

    Millennial dating is hard enough without a pandemic thrown into the mix! I am a bit of a guilty ghoster because I end up convincing myself I’d rather just be alone than go on 500 dates in hope of meeting someone half decent! The struggle is real :/ I don’t like the idea of meeting someone via an app but I don’t tend to meet people due to my work/lifestyle so it’s a bit of a cycle!

    • Shannon Glading

      It really is, all of this has made it soooo much harder! But I can’t lie, I am the same right now what is the point? Why continue talking to someone if there is no potential of it going anywhere. I feel you on that one for sure! It is really difficult to wonder if that person is worth the time and effort. But for sure, it would be amazing to meet someone organically but doesn’t that even happen now?! x

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