When I was little I had it all figured out – I was going to be married by 22, have a really ace job, loads of money and be happy with 2 kids. I’m 19 years old and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing and my childhood idea of my future is the funniest thing I’ve probably ever thought of. I really wish I did have it all figured out, but I don’t. I seem to be stuck.
I’m stuck in a very confusing mind set, am I doing the right thing? Should I be back at home with a job I never imagined myself in just starting my life? Should I really be spending my time stressing 24/7, doing university work and being confused?
What do I really want? I’ve no idea anymore.
I want to be happy, that’s for sure.
I want to be comfortable.
I want to know where I’m going, what I’m doing and what’s the right thing for me.
Life is very strange, hard and confusing. I’m not quite sure what I’m doing at all, I’m not sure whether I should be here or there. I’m not sure where I really belong. Do I really belong in this big city like I always thought or do I belong back in that little one, the one where no one ever seem to escape? Do I belong there? Am I supposed to be just Shannon, the girl with a normal job, a normal life…not this spectacular one I’ve always dreamt of…maybe my dreams are too big, that’s always a thought too.
OH LIFE, YOU ARE NOT VERY SIMPLE AT ALL.