Before I go on, I AM BACK HIIIIIIIIYAAAAAA. I haven’t posted on my blog in ages, I’ve been busy on YouTube and you know, I’ve never quite felt the love for it like I have for my blog. I love writing and I miss writing, talking to a camera? Perhaps not for me. I’ve got a whole load of posts planned for Blogmas, yeah that’s right, Shannon is doing Blogmas. I did it back in 2014 (I think!) and loved it. So there is no better way to throw myself back in than back to back blog posts, am I right ladies?! I had some thoughts on my way to work the other day, was feeling quite sorry for myself and whatever the fuck I am doing with my life but then I realised I am doing just fine…
“WHATEVER THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?”
Success can be measured on a whole large scale. Some people measure success from their job title or how much money they take home each year. Some people measure success on I suppose the less materialistic things in life.
A job title and money doesn’t always equal happiness, sure it measures success but if you’re not happy would you say you ‘made it’? Who knows? I am not in a position to be able to judge that. But then for some people it does make them the happiest person on Earth and that’s great, for them anyway!
When I was little I always said to myself “I’m going to make it, I’m going to be a successful journalist and earn loads of money and have everything EVER” – news flash little Shannon, you didn’t make it.
My one year at university is a touchy subject for me, I had the idea of making it right in front of me. But I didn’t want to make it anymore, I just wanted to be happy. I realised that doing that degree wasn’t making me happy, even though the piece of paper I would have received at the end would have helped me to get there, I wasn’t happy enough with the idea to pursue it.
So I left, I left and I am here with a basic job that pays enough with no real career prospects right now. I get sad sometimes seeing everyone around me succeeding and doing really well and I’m still a bit depressed with a smidge of anxiety just plodding along. But that’s OKAY, everyone measures success differently (let me drill this into my brain).
Do you know how I plan on measuring mine? With happiness. Happiness to me is going to be having a house, a husband and babies that we’ve created together. But of course that is just me, some people would take that as a bonus to whatever else they’ve achieved, for me I think a ‘career’ would be my bonus in life.
Happiness to me is going to be continuing to fight my mental illness and get through to the other side. I already did that with my eating disorder, I’m so fucking successful for getting my bloody periods back. Happiness is a measure of my success, happiness is the goal and happiness is everything I want.
You know, I am so proud of those around me being successful, it fills my heart to know they are doing well. I do wonder if one day people will think the same? Will they come round my house and see my home and think “she’s done really well”?
Who am I to judge if someone even believes they have done well, perhaps they are fighting for more and more and more. Maybe they will never be happy with what they have achieved, from the outside we as friends or family can say “you’ve done a cracking job” while they may think they’ve got a long way to go in life. For me people are always saying how proud they are of what I’ve done, but I am waiting to have something to show for it.
Really, everyone is successful in their own little ways. I just can’t wait to begin my journey to it.